Grandma

imaginea utilizatorului Sapphire
Iulia's shells

can you hear?

she’s looking down to the water
grabbing my grandmother’s hand and diving
can you hear them talking
as if no winds have gone between them

swim my dearest ones

they have cherry earrings
grandma’s sewing some vanilla white shoes
hiding the knots of her youth on the back
feeling my daughter’s feet with her disappearing hands
they both look at the waters
growing up from the earth
falling down from the trees
no they don’t have a mouth
sweetie
can God hear them?
I guess He can

swim my dearest ones

and you
you put your ear on my chest
I am the shell of her memory
yet silent

Comentarii

The rhythmical but non-metrical, non-rhyming lines does not impede the reader's ability to understand the expression of your soul. For Julia and for you: "can God hear them? I guess He can"

I like so much: "I am the shell of her memory yet silent" It's not a word games, it's just a lyric poem characterizing the future life of you and Iulia.

am putin rezerve fata de masura in care textul poate fi considerat un tot unitar. ultimele patru cinci rinduri mi se pare ca apartin unui alt tip de text. parerea mea de doi centi

Marina, I guess this poem got to you in some way... But it's just a little more than a thought, a glance in the future overlaping the past. Moved pictures, if you want... I am happy that you felt what it was behind it, but really, I don't know if it is something spectacular here for anybody else but myself. Virgil, ai dreptate. E o ruptură acolo, pe care nu am simți nevoia să o marchez. S-ar putea totuși să îmi fi dat o idee bună, mă mai gândesc. Dar e aceeași poezie, believe me. Mulțumesc de ochiul atent.